


The Only Thing That's Real

by starlocked



Series: Star's Soulmate September 2020 [6]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm, analogical - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:40:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26325778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlocked/pseuds/starlocked
Summary: Logan and Virgil can feel each other's physical pain. Emotional pain is a little more difficult to decipher.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Series: Star's Soulmate September 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1905370
Comments: 10
Kudos: 146





	The Only Thing That's Real

How many times had Logan given his lecture on having a consistent brushing and flossing schedule? To be exact he had given it 47 times over the past 5 months and yet he could feel the cavity in Virgil’s mouth react to the sickeningly sweet energy drink his boyfriend was pounding down.

"Stop it! Doesn't that hurt?" He glared across the table over the top of his laptop.

"You'll live. It's only like.. two weeks until the appointment?" Virgil rolled his eyes, taking another gulp out of spite. In truth, his mouth hurt a lot and he knew Logan could feel it too. But he was so tired of the sanctimonious lectures. "Anyway, I better get going. See ya, L."

Logan grunted in response. Virgil had such a peculiar way of being a pain in his neck when he was surly like this. 

Virgil grabbed his bag and headed out of the apartment, hoping the caffeine and sugar would kick in by the time he got to work. He was on the bus when he felt Logan's daily morning finger prick. Even if he should be used to the pain by now, he wasn't. Of course, his soulmate has diabetes. 

Virgil stuck the pricked finger in his mouth and hissed as a strange man roughly pushed passed him on the bus. He quickly checked his pockets and was mildly relieved nothing was missing. He stumbled as the bus started forward again, grabbing for the bar to keep from falling. The bus filled quickly at the next two stops and Virgil felt on the edge of a panic attack by the time he got to work. He stood on the sidewalk and tried to control his breathing to ground himself. Another person pushed past him and he tensed every muscle in his body to stop himself from retaliating.

After the short walk from the stop to work, Virgil found himself tested even further by entitled customers and barking managers. He snapped a rubber band against his wrist every time he felt ready to shut down. He knew Logan would feel it but it was better than getting fired for snapping at a customer.

"Why don't you work at Hot Topic, freak?" a kid no older than ten laughed at him while his tired mother ignored him to mess up the display Virgil had  _ just fixed _ .

"Because you don't find fresh meat when everyone who shops there is already undead," Virgil smirked at the twerp of a child, showing off a fake fang. It wasn't dress code but he liked it.

The child cried and his mother found a way to blame Virgil for that and about everything else wrong in her world. Virgil tried to ignore the tirade and felt his skin itch.

After a lunch break and another energy drink that did nothing to improve his mood, Virgil begged his favorite manager to be allowed to reorganize the back stock for the rest of his shift. Human interaction was killing him. He groaned when his friend sadly shook his head no and put him on the register.

The rest of the day was a blur as more and more people managed to annoy and aggravate Virgil. He trudged in the front door of the apartment and locked it behind him. Logan was still out at his own job and Virgil had the whole place to himself. The skin on his arms itched terribly as the stress of the day replayed on a loop. He grabbed ice from the freezer and tried to make the urge go away by rubbing the ice on his wrists and forearms. The cold was helpful but he still felt bad.

Virgil wrapped himself in a blanket and blasted his mp3 player, favorite emo playlist on shuffle.

Logan could tell it had been a bad day when he found Virgil all wrapped up in the living room. He'd felt the rubber band snaps all day and was grateful he hadn't felt worse when Virgil got home. Rather than disturb him, Logan went to the kitchen to start preparing their dinner, biting back the voice in his head arguing that Virgil should cook when he got home first.

Logan nearly had finished a plate of bacon and a full stack of pancakes when Virgil snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around Logan’s waist, resting his forehead between his shoulder blades.

"Rough day?"

"I hate people."

"Mmm. Understandable."

"Why do they exist?"

"Evolution dictates that a species that has a higher population is better at adapting to survive in its surroundings as there is greater genetic variety."

Virgil hissed and straightened back up to grab a drink from the fridge. Logan looked disapproving when Virgil pulled out a can of soda but bit his tongue.

Virgil plated the pancakes and bacon while Logan grabbed butter and Crofters jam from the fridge. They worked together to set the table and sat down to eat.

Virgil side-eyed Logan as Logan spread jam over his pancakes.

"So it's only a problem when I have sugar?"

"It's about self-control, Virge. I don't like it when I know you're in pain over something simple to fix," Logan looked with sympathy that quickly evaporated into fear. "Virgil put it down... Please."

Virgil looked down to find he was absent-mindedly running the butter knife against the sleeve of his hoodie. His eyes went wide and he dropped the knife which skittered across the table.

Logan stood and rushed over to Virgil’s side as the frustrated man hid his face in the hood of his jacket and faceplanted into the table. Logan rubbed Virgil’s back softly, gently pushing up the sleeve to make sure no new wounds had been made and no old ones reopened. The lines on his soulmate’s wrist brought back painful memories of being awoken in the middle of the night, arm stinging for no discernable reason, and fear of the unknown clouding his brain. 

"Come on Virgil, it's going to be okay. I'm here," Virgil only grunted in response. "Anime or Disney?"

Virgil barely lifted his head, "neither."

"We're having a movie night. You need to relax. So what are we watching, Stormcloud?" Logan was firm but kind.

"Fine. Starkid."

"Any particular show?" Logan crouched to be eye level with Virgil.

Virgil turned his head to look at Logan, tears running down his cheeks, "I dunno. You pick."

Logan nodded, cupping Virgil’s cheek in his hand and using his thumb to wipe away the tears. He stood, grabbing their plates to move them to the living room. He quickly grabbed a laptop and a few more blankets for the couch, keeping one eye on Virgil the whole time.

When everything was ready, Logan returned to Virgil’s side and offered him both hands. Virgil took them and Logan pulled him up into a hug. They stood there for several minutes before Logan pulled back just far enough to look at Virgil.

"I'm sorry. I've been more like people than your boyfriend lately, haven't I?" Virgil barely nodded in response. "I'm sorry, Virgil. I don't mean to be bossy. I only want you to have a good quality of life because I love you. Seeing you in pain because of others hurts me so much. But I shouldn't be one of the ones causing you pain."

"It's okay, L. You're human. And my soulmate. You literally cannot stop causing me pain," Virgil sighed and looked up, meeting Logan’s gaze. His eyes sparkled with dark brown intensity that made Logan catch his breath. Virgil smirked, "I don't like people, but you're the exception, Logan."

"I love you, Stormcloud."

"I love you too, L."

Logan smirked and picked Virgil up, carrying him bridal style. Virgil quickly wrapped his arms around Logan’s neck to keep from falling. Logan leaned forward and pecked his boyfriend on the lips, heat rising in both of their cheeks. He carried him into the living room and set him down in the nest of blankets before grabbing the laptop and snuggling in himself.

They watched Starship, and Virgil started humming along around halfway through. Logan gently played with Virgil’s hair and after the musical, they stayed curled up together on the couch until they fell asleep.

It would never be easy, but they had each other to protect and care for and that was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> check out more Soulmate stories @tsshipmonth2020


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